I had dust on my yoga mat

I literally had a layer of dust on my mat.

Yoga had always been there for me.  A way to move my body, open up, breathe deep, release stress and feel ok with where I was at.  I had it through love and loss, moves, jobs, and life changes. 

I had been doing yoga for two decades and teaching for about three but there were a few things that took me off it starting in winter.  The practice didn't speak to my soul any longer and it was hard.

But it wasn't calling me anymore. 

Then my dad went in Hospice and passed away.  And I still couldn't get back. I had the best of intentions but still I wasn't ready.

Then a conversation with my friend @StephenAmelia and just a perfect schedule alignment @AsanaCharlestown and I found myself in a yoga class. 

I was positively creaky.  But as I slowly moved through the familiar postures, I felt my body ease up.  My muscles release.  My emotions soften.

I used every prop available to help adjust my body and allow myself to open.  (I still use all props!)

Through the class, I felt both stiffness and softness.  Balance and unbalance.  And in savasana as I looked up in the trees and the beautiful blue summer sky, I let the tears roll down my cheeks.  The stiffness in my body had begun to release and I began to feel myself coming out.  Coming out of the fog of loss, coming back to my mat and accepting where I am now.  

Sometimes its good to step away for a while, to do what you need to do, to survive, to take care of others.  Then when you hear the little voice, a little alert to take care of yourself -- LISTEN.

You don't have to go straight to a headstand, just do what you NEED to do to take care of you.  

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